July 7, 2019

The Second Arrow

The Second Arrow

Below is the transcript of the very first episode of the One Last Thought podcast, titled "The Second Arrow." and I wanted to share it as a blog post, as there is so much value to be gained by these powerful thoughts shared by Amy Reed and Pedro Pena III. Enjoy.


If there was one piece of advice that I could give to future generations, that would be Don't let fear control your life. 


There's this concept in Buddhism called the second arrow. And the first arrow is something painful that happens or some kind of adversity that you have to go through that you have absolutely no control over. And the second arrow is everything you say to yourself after that first arrow hits. 


As a stutterer, I let the fear of what other people thought of me and my stutter, control my life. 


You're running down the court and you happen to miss the layup. So that happened and what is your relationship to yourself? What do you say to yourself after that happens? 


As a person who stutters, fear dictated every facet of my life. For over 35 years, I lived a life of isolation because I let fear dictate every move. With having a stutter, I could not say my name when I was young, so I missed the first two days of school, starting in the first grade all the way through the 12th grade, and even carrying through in college, and in graduate school. 


Maybe you go through a breakup and somebody dumps you and you're questioning yourself and saying, well, maybe I'm not lovable, or maybe I'm not worthy. 


I was tired of living in fear of everything because of my stutter. 


You're not going to be able to control the first arrow, but the second arrow, you can absolutely control. 


It was only when I turned 40 years old, I told myself enough was enough. 


That's just not something that's taught when you're growing up, to have that really solid relationship with yourself to have good self-talk. It helps you so much as an athlete, but more importantly, it helps you day-to-day and I wish somebody would have taught me that when I was growing up. 


Be fearless, be courageous, whatever goal that you have written down, go for it. Don't let anyone tell you that you cannot do anything in this world.


That's the second arrow.


Be fearless, be awesome. Just be you and do not let fear control your life.