Too Much Is At Stake - Padmini Nidumolu, Max Klapow - Episode 18

Sometimes, all it takes to disarm someone and to form that genuine connection that can transform both of your lives is being willing to put down our own sword.

I spent most of my childhood arguing and being angry and defending my beliefs and identities, from people around me who I grew up with, who disagree with them, or in some cases didn't even believe in them.

With the overwhelming disruptions that are thrown at us All the time in the space of technology, artificial intelligence on one side, and cultural shifts, health hazards global chaos on the other side, one last thought I would have for the next generation is to reach out, stretch and support one another.

I think that over time that made me really resentful. It made it really difficult for me to connect with people who didn't believe what I did, whether it was political, whether it was a similar sexual orientation, religious things like that.

As we cocoon ourselves more and more into ourselves with the rise of digital interventions. We forget that the most critical aspect of our lives, human connections contribute to our well being physically and emotionally as well. 

I think I'd like to pass on what my one last thought that if I could leave the world with just one thing remaining behind me would be radical empathy.

It's an immediate need, and not a nice-to-have element of our lives anymore.

The idea that in order to connect with someone that we disagree with, we have to start by understanding that that person's worldview was shaped by a set of life experiences, just like ours was. Radical empathy is choosing that connection with that person before we choose judgment.

supporting one another can be very abstract and many of us might not even know where to start. 

It's the act of recognizing that yes, perhaps I see this person in a really specific, really negative way. But what if I set those judgments aside for a moment? And I started by asking them why they believe what they believe, not just telling them what they should believe. 

The act of choosing to suspend our judgment while still maintaining our own identities, values, and integrity is incredibly difficult, but it's something that we have to start doing because frankly too much is at stake for us not to.

Set aside 1% of your time towards reaching out to your community, and this includes your own betterment as well because you are an integral part of the community.

I found that it's transformed my relationships, both romantic and personal. It's changed the way I view politics and policy and issues within my own communities. And it's something that I think we all can do, but it's also a choice.

It's a fraction of your time, but it helps you focus on a goal and 1% of a week's time is about a hundred minutes, which is less than a couple of hours a week.

And it seems like a wickedly simple concept. However, as usual, the devils in the details.

This is tiny, but it's very easy, and it's doable. It feels less intimidating to set a tiny goal as 1% and it's more manageable.

You see, we have been tricked into thinking that our differences have to stop us from seeking a connection with each other, that they have to stop us from finding similarities and sharing common ground.

And in the beginning, your improvements would be so small as to seem practically nonexistent. But if you're patient gradually and ever so slowly, you start to notice the improvements that you need to impact the community or for yourself.

What I've learned over the past 15 years or so is that that breakdown in connection is what stops us from being home as a community as partners as friends even.

And that's it, just 1%, and this might not seem like much, but these 1% increments start compounding on each other.

Think about when was the last time you had a conversation with someone that you really disagree with about that thing, whatever it may be, and I bet it's a while and that makes a lot of sense, Right? 

We actively avoid what we don't understand. And we really, really try and avoid what we don't like. But those small and intentional, everyday changes to our mindset can fundamentally change how we interact with each other, and with the world. 

It might feel less exciting than chasing this huge win or the next shiny object, but its results will be much stronger and much more sustainable. It can help multiply the cumulative time contributed to the community or for your own goals. And it consequently amplifies the impact that's such a collective effort can have on the community at large. 

Radical empathy is something that can save us. It can empower us; it can lead us to do greater things it can lead us to new doors and connections that we never thought were possible before but it's a choice. It's a choice that we have to start making because frankly too much is at stake for us not to.